disillusioned

i cannot do this any more
disillusioned- have lost all hope.
perfect case of the mopes.
know that i am loved. so?

my thoughts turn to giving up;
leaving, fleeing this old dump.
but how can i? my time's not come
or perhaps i am done.

my hold on sanity feels weak
i have no faith, so cannot leap
from my life to a higher peak:
better, greener, safe for me.

am i just a coward- dame?
is this dull ache solely pain?
is this life worth the strain
of waking up day after day after day?

i do not know for what i search
i do not find it in your church
nor among my friends am i
content to be until i die.

am i ungrateful, a horrid child?
do i deserve all those sweet smiles
that i receive from loved and loved-by
who yet can't fathom what am i?

i am me. what does that mean?
is there still a soul beneath?
humanity? a human being?
someone worth having the life i lead?

pain means nothing more to me,
nor frustration, nor apathy.
i have become so used to these
they are now a part of me.

and so i slip into a sleep
half awake, half in dreams.
i am me. what does that mean?
who can solve that mystery?

yeah, so i'm rather depressed. so what? i'll get over it. survival is as much a question of time as it is of fitness.
i do want to give up on everything: my class, my responsibilities, reconcile myself to a lonely, misanthropic life.

haiku? god bless u!

hmmm...haiku anyone? (i know, i know, the title is a total pj)
you know- the 17 syllable short Japanese poem. can't remember if the formation is 5-5-7 or 5-7-5.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku
oh right 5-7-5. love the number 17. yay cristiano ronaldo! and of course, it is significant for other reasons as well.
met Brian Mendonca today. he's a poet and an ex xavierite. last bus to vasco: that's the name of his antholgy of poems.

her lips curve upwards in a smile
she has seen the guy she likes,
the guy who makes her stomach clench.
mais non! he's not her boyfriend!

and screw you if you think i suck at writing verse- :P
p.s. this doesn't necessarily refer to me (though it could)

blank verse

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hee hee..that's it!
thisblog is for purely educative purposes. i'm gonna try and learn as much as i can about poetry and then post about what i learn. and i'll try my hand at writing the different forms too.
guess that's my specialisation.